How to deal with big changes in your life
Who has ever lived a life where major change did not happen? It is not possible. Of course not all change is the same and some changes are much more traumatic than others. This post is not written for those dealing with traumatic events. It is aimed for those coping with unexpected daily changes that throw off us off kilter, confuse our sense of safety and take us into a new direction in life. For example, loosing one's job, or experiencing a sudden change in friendships, partners letting us down. Change is inevitable and our biggest superpower in these events is to trust ourselves fully to get through it intact and safe.
Do not despair. Through every difficult moment, the human spirit can grow, become wiser and more flexible. Bounding forward is always a good option. Do not give up and do not allow your rage to turn inwards and do you harm.
When unexpected major changes happen it is absolutely essential to hold onto to a positive attitude and an optimistic mindset. What does this actually mean? It means thinking "One step at a time. I can and will get through this. When I need help I will allow myself to receive it. Recovery from this will be about discovering me."
It is very difficult to do this when you are stuck in negative thinking so this blog will offer you some advice to cope with change.
As a starting point tell yourself that you do not need to despair. Accept that life is full of ups and downs and twists and turns. Fear, anxiety and stress can reach peak levels when coping with changes and many people need extra support.
If you are struggling have a look at the advice below to help you reduce stress:
✨ Remember if you don’t do as well as you expected and the change has not been anticipated or prevented it is not the end of the world. There is always more than one way to get what you desire in life. What can do you do today to help you come up with other solutions to your situation? Could you discuss this with key people who may be able to inspire you? Write down all of the ideas you have and allow yourself to think big.
✨You matter for who you are not for what you achieve. So if the change is the result of you not having met your goal, you can treat yourself with respect and hope; rather than criticism and rejection. Practice your positive thinking and tell yourself that you did not achieve this time and you will reflect on what you did that contributed to this change. What did you learn? Write it down.
✨You tried your best. That is good enough. Change often leads to a feeling of growth and strength.Practice positive affirmations every day - morning, day and night. They work! You can say I AM GOOD ENOUGH.
✨If you could have done more to avoid this change, trust in your courage to get back up again and overcome your fears.Think about how strong you are and identify what you can do to bolster this courage. Do it and plan it in small daily steps.
✨You mantra is "I can rise and grow out of adversity". Think about what these difficult times have afforded you in terms of learning.
✨Failure is not a failing but rather an opportunity to learn, and in time this painful experience will help you develop your emotional and mental resilience.
✨Self-compassion is the most important aspect in reducing all life stress. Be kind to you. What are you going to prioritize for you today?
✨If your anxiety is really tough Meditation helps - especially a self loving one. Practice it! If you want more advice on this, head over to the meditation blog by Dr Chloe. You can also use apps like Calm, Headspace, Happy not Perfect as all these are good.
✨Do not drink loads of coffee or eat sugary foods- it increases stress. Look after your diet and treat yourself as though you are prepping for a marathon. You wouldn't just do that would you? You'd prep and nutrition is a big deal.
✨ Exercise is really important and helps to reduce stress so make sure you do your thing. 30 mins a day walking, running, jogging, dancing, playing sport is enough to keep you on an even keel. If it is too much try 15 mins a day. Physical health is boosted by the oxygenation of the organs during exercise and that's your best antidote to stress and anxiety.
✨ Make a plan to spend the tricky days with people who really support you and get you.
✨Express your sadness but see it as a spiritual lesson and grow from it.If you find it difficult to name your feelings or speak them, try drawing them, or singing them or composing them into music. Sometimes just lying down and speaking in a free style about whatever it is in your mind, no editing at all, will eventually allow you to get to your heart and you can trust yourself to be kind to you. Emotions will help you move forward. Think of emotions and e-motion into a better place; so long as you are authentic with you.
✨Cut out the judgments and focus on what you can change. Don't blame. Don't abdicate responsibility. Look after your priorities and if you need to carry out a SWOT on all your options
Strengths, Weaknesess, Opportunities and Threats. This is a framework for decision making you can use.